Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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