I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
