"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
