this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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