So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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