so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
What a dumb baby whore.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
