Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
