just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
