Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
