yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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