i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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