i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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