OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
