Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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