Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize