Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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