fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
