Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
