Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
