his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
