dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
