he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
