so that wasnt chicken after all
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
