Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize