Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
