you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
