marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
