didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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