Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
