hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
