I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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