These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
