yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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