I feel like I'm in dance class right now
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
