It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
COCAINE IS GR8
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
