I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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