No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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