I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
