I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
