Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
