I just saw a hot homeless man
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize