yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
