when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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