Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
