I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
