The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
