quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
