Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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