So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
