He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
