Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
well you can't waste a boner
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
