how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
