we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
