there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
