I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
