We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
