Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize