Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So vagazzling was a success
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
