Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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