We won't sleep together?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
