I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
