i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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