You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
